Are Your Relationships Making You Sick?

It’s not you, it’s them. It's not them, it's you. 

Or maybe, just maybe - it's both.

There comes a point in our lives where the emotional pain of living out of alignment with our Truth becomes so great that we leave ourselves with only two options: change what you're doing ASAP or implode/explode from all of the emotional pressure.

Both paths lead to growth & emotional, spiritual, psychological maturation, eventually.

It is important to go into depth with you about what I mean when I say, “out of alignment with our Truth.” So pull up a chair, and join me.

Being out of alignment is when our hearts are saying one thing, “Leave. Jump. Just fly. Trust” “You are here for a bigger reason” "You deserve to be loved." and our minds are saying, “It’s fine.” “Life is supposed to be a struggle.” “You won’t be able to make it.” This causes us a lot of inner conflict & internal stress which, ultimately, is the source of all inflammation & disease...and to top it off, when we aren't in alignment our personal will seeks a place to call home.

Denial is a special kind of pain, isn't it? Geez.

Having the emotional courage to get vulnerable with ourselves & the people we love takes some real inner badass STRENGTH & faith. When we have faith in our journey, we will be able to have the hard conversations, hold strong to our boundaries and make choices aligned with love. Period.

If we believe we are unworthy, powerless, and a victim of circumstance we are going to have a very challenging time building a bridge out of the past and into the present. Out of fear based consciousness and into love based consciousness.

So how did we get so out of alignment to begin with? We are at a point in our collective journey where we are being asked to grow beyond a survival (tribal) consciousness and into an emotional heart centered (unity) consciousness. And because of this, we are running into a giant wall ontologically, mentally, emotionally, physically, socially and spiritually. Internally & externally.

And I’ll be honest, these are big walls to break down…but the good news is this, we’re in control of the wrecking ball. And the more people who stand in this space of compassion, courage, and unity - the faster these walls will fall.

From your childhood, to your family systems, religious beliefs, decades of schooling, current and past careers/vocation, town, city, state, area of the country, culture, nation, race, gender, and the fact that you are human contributes to the thoughts you think, the perceptions you hold, and therefore, the reality you create.

To break out of the mold of the past conditioning takes us through a journey I call an, “emotional black hole.” It is in this process of walking through the de-hypnotizing fires of our pain that we are transformed. We die. Bit by bit - deleting all of the stories that don't serve us - only to be reborn again - moment to moment. This process that I am describing is one where we look in the mirror - at the person we thought we had to be to be loved, and say good bye. And invite the real, deeper you to shine through.

Essentially, it comes down to this question:

Who am I doing this for? Me? Or someone / something else.

A healthy dose of accountability coming right up.

When we begin to separate from the groups and tribes we’ve been loyal to for our answers, our thoughts, our guidance, and our actions we begin to unplug from the authority they have in the choices we make in our lives. We begin to reclaim our power to change our lives. Choice is freedom, and it's about time we expand our options.

Withdrawing our energy from these systems of thought, groups, systems is effin challenging at best. Why? Because our reptilian brain, the part of the brain that thrives in the familiar even if the familiar is one of misery, repeats over & over: STOP! Don’t do it. You will die without them. You won’t be protected.

But when we choose to stay in a tribe out of fear & shame, what we are essentially doing is rejecting ourselves. We are abandoning the only people who can change our lives - ourselves. I know that sometimes it's easier to follow the grooves of what everybody else is doing, because change can often feel uncomfortable, scary, new, and at times, in the beginning - very lonely.

But hear me out, when you start choosing beliefs and systems of thoughts that feel good - light and expansive...your tribe of people show up. You begin to make decisions based on a foundation of love. You find your frequency. And from this foundation anything is possible.

It's not just them or just you, it's both - because now you have a choice to change.